All We Need of Hell
by MaryDidYouKnow
Summary: Alexis' life fell apart 6 years ago. Can she put it back together to save the Cassidines?
1. The Cassidine Red Rose

All We Need of Hell  
  
Chapter 1: The Cassadine Red Rose  
  
Disclaimer: General Hospital and all its characters belong to ABC, Disney, etc.  
  
  
  
Author's Notes: Thanks to my faithful beta reader. Please read and review! The quote is from Othello. Act v. Sc. 2.  
  
  
  
I remember very little about my mother. After her death I had to put all of my memories of her and my life as Natasha Cassadine away. I pushed them into a small box in the back of my mind. I locked the box up tight. I became Alexis Davidovich, later Davis. I was an adult before I even tried to find the box again.  
  
"Then, must you speak of one that loved not wisely but too well."  
  
I have always thought that Shakespeare quote best described my mother. She loved Mikkos Cassadine. For that she lost her life.  
  
Even as an adult I still have very few memories of her. That quote has always been her legacy to me. It defined what my life was to become. It is also my one inheritance from her.  
  
Mother was luckier then me though. Helena came in one night and slit her throat. She paid the price for her unwise love herself. I watch the people I care about pay the price for mine.  
  
I have loved two men in my life, Sonny Corinthos and Ned Ashton.  
  
Sonny Corinthos was my one risk. The mob boss with a heart of gold I thought. A child as damaged by his mother's choices as I was. It was Natasha Cassadine who saw in him all the restless passion. It was she who saw all the decisions in his life as choosing between the devil and the deep blue sea. She who justified everything through the same distorted lens centuries of Cassadines had used to justify their own misdeeds.  
  
Natasha gave her heart to a man who belonged to another. She ignored the rules Alexis had grown up believing and the facts in front of her eyes. She gave up friends and risked her own life for him.  
  
She was a fool. One night destroyed the illusion. Natasha got everything she wanted. Then I awoke to find it had nearly cost someone else her life.  
  
However, Carly survived and I thought I had managed to escape relatively unscathed. I had even managed to come away with a gift, a precious baby girl. So what if I had to lie to my sister, Kristina, to protect my daughter from Sonny and his life. If my bond with Kristina needed to be shaken or if I had to use her boyfriend, Ned, as a cover it was not too high a price to pay.  
  
I should have remembered I was my mother's heir.  
  
My sister found out about my lie. Kristina could no longer trust Ned or me so she went to find Sonny. It cost Kristina her life. I cost Kristina her life. I loved Sonny Corinthos, mob boss and target extraordinaire, and Kristina died for it.  
  
Ned Ashton was my once and future love. He was everything Alexis ever dreamed about as a young woman. He was smart, funny, kind, and understanding. We were the gatekeepers, the ones without their names but with their problems. Together we could face anything. My family, his family, Jax's poverty, and Chloe's aunt were all easy obstacles. The only thing we couldn't face together was a preacher. Alexis was too afraid of loosing her independence. She was too afraid of loosing Alexis in Mrs. Ashton. So she fled, ran away from him. Alexis hid in work and loyalty to a new friend. When she finally looked up he was gone. Alexis had played it safe and lost.  
  
That should have been the end of the story. Ned should have been safe. He was safe. He was with Kristina. Until I needed to use his name to protect my gift. Until Kristina paid the price for my mistake of forgetting I was my mother's heir.  
  
I should have learned. I had this lesson three times now: Mother, Chloe, and now Kristina. Still I didn't learn.  
  
It began as a simple bargain. A marriage of convince just as I had with Jax. Two old friends bound by grief and a determination to protect my daughter. Determined to keep this person that my sister spent her last breath protecting safe from harm. The only love involved would be for the two Kristinas, my sister and my daughter.  
  
I spent the rest of my pregnancy trying to convince Ned to leave Port Charles. In the end it wasn't any of my well thought out arguments that convinced him, it was Carly Corithos. The day after Kristin was born Ned found Carly looking at her through the nursery window at General Hospital. Ned wouldn't tell me what Carly said to him, but it convinced him that staying in Port Charles would be like waving a red flag in front of Carly. That one day Carly would tell Sonny what she knew about our daughter.  
  
So Ned, our daughter and I moved to Manhattan. And Kristin was our daughter. While I knew that Ned would take care of her and protect her from the minute I told him about her, I admit I did wonder if he would see too much of Sonny in her. I didn't need to worry, I knew the minute I saw them together that as far as Ned and Kristina were concerned they were father and daughter. Any lingering doubt I had about my decision ended. We were a family.  
  
How could I not fall in love with Ned after that? How could I not fall in love with any man who loved my Kristina? How could I not fall in love with the man who had always held Alexis' heart in his hands? So I fell in love with Ned all over again. Thus I condemned him to death.  
  
I don't know how I knew. Kristina and I went to get a late dinner from a Chinese place down the street just like we had done a hundred times before. We walked into our building, Kristina talking a mile a minute about her day with Brooke-Lynn and Lois. It was all so normal. Then suddenly I knew. I told Kristina to go to Mrs. Strumen's until I came and got her. Kristina went.  
  
The door was unlocked, but that wasn't unusual when we were home. I stayed there with the door handle turned, but without actually opening the door. As if for one more minute I could keep things they way they had been. Then I opened the door. I didn't hear anything. Everything was so still. I had been in a room like that before. I walked down the short entry hall and into our living room. There he was, lying on the floor. Lying in a pool of red. Just like mother.  
  
I walked over to phone and called the police. I gave them my name, address, and requested an ambulance in a perfectly calm voice. Then I sat down by my fourth victim.  
  
I sat there in the middle of the red. Except for the red he could be sleeping. He had slept there sometimes, with Kristina on his chest. I could imagine that he would wake up.  
  
From a distance I heard the police and paramedics arrive. They were somewhere down at the end of a long hall. They came in the room but never got closer to me. They somehow examined Ned from the end of that long hall. They were asking me questions I couldn't hear over the rushing in my ears. All I could hear were the paramedics saying Ned was gone.  
  
Another love I had was gone. Another death to I lived to see. Another red day I get to experience.  
  
Why Sonny? Why do you live while they all die? Why do I? Why do I have to wear red again?  
  
Why do I live? What use am I? I'm just a servant's bastard daughter. Why should I live?  
  
Why is Stephan here? How did he get here so fast? There is Kristina. She looks so sad. I should hold her.  
  
NO! Don't go near her. You can't protect her. You can't protect anyone. You can only get her killed. You can only protect her by staying away. Haven't you learned yet? Stephan will protect her. He was right here. There he is. He will protect her. He knows how to protect children. Laura trusted him. So will I. As long a Stephan is here Kristina is safe.  
  
Don't let the red touch Kristina.  
  
I must stay quiet and stay still. Must protect Kristina. Mustn't leave Kristina alone. Can't let the mean lady near her. Can't let the red near her. Stay quite little baby and we will be safe here in the hay. Stay safe.  
  
Don't let the red touch Kristina.  
  
Time keeps passing. They all died, Mother, Chloe, Kristina, and Ned, still time passed. Each time I looked up time had changed things. One moment the Quartermaines and the Cassadines were all here. The next moment it was just Stephan, Kristina and I. One moment we were in a hotel room. The next moment we were in a strange apartment. One moment Kristina is just a little girl. The next moment she is a young lady.  
  
No matter what else changed one thing remained the same, the world was always red.  
  
Kristina says it is just us tonight. Where is Stephan? Why isn't Stephan here? He has to protect Kristina. He has to protect her from me.  
  
Don't let the red touch Kristina.  
  
Why is Carly there? What right does Carly have to be still alive? Why can't Sonny lose it all too? Why can he still dance at the Nurses Ball when Ned can't? How can she wear that? "Red is my color, my anger, my rage. She doesn't have the right to wear it." I tell her.  
  
Kristina is looking at me. I must stay quiet and stay still. Must protect Kristina. Can't let the red near her. Stay quite little baby and we will be safe here in the hay. Stay safe.  
  
Don't let the red touch Kristina.  
  
Who is talking? Stop talking. Why don't you just stop talking?  
  
Why did you stop talking? Luke never stops talking.  
  
"Jeez, why do all you Cassadine women feel the need to introduce yourselves by knocking me out?"  
  
Because we all instinctively know it is the only way to shut you up. 


	2. Changing Guardians

Chapter 2: Changing Guardians  
  
Disclaimer: General Hospital and all its characters belong to ABC, Disney, etc.  
  
  
  
Author's Notes: Thanks to my faithful beta reader. Please read and review!  
  
  
  
"I applaud your effort in killing that vase Princess Junior, but did you need to use my head to do it?"  
  
  
  
Luke is here? Why is he here?  
  
  
  
"What do you want?" Is that Kristina? Where is Stephan?  
  
  
  
"I like her Natasha. She seems to have your backbone." No, she didn't get anything from me. She is safe.  
  
  
  
"I'm an old partner of your mother." Our limited partnership has reached its limit. You told me that Luke. Do you remember Katherine? Do you remember her death? She died. Everybody dies, because of me.  
  
  
  
Katherine died at my hands. I should have learned. If I had perhaps I could have prevented the other deaths. I forgot my childhood lessons. Nothing good could come from me. Death was my only legacy.  
  
  
  
"Uncle Stephan isn't here right now so you will need to come back later."  
  
  
  
No, Kristina that can't be true. Stephan knows he needs to protect you. That is Stephan's legacy. He failed once because of me. He does not forget his lessons. He will protect you from me. I need to stay calm. I must stay quiet and stay still. Must protect Kristina. Mustn't leave Kristina alone. Can't let the red near her. Stay safe.  
  
  
  
"No, Count Vlad and I don't get along. I work better with the warm and fuzzy members of the Cassidine wolf-pack," Luke admitted. What did you call him? A yellow-bellied bloodsucker wasn't it?  
  
  
  
"Well Nicholas isn't here either." You don't need to tell Luke, Kristina. He is always watching us. Luke knows our secrets better than we do.  
  
  
  
"No I am not here for Prince Nicky. Look kid, I need you to pack a bag."  
  
  
  
"Huh?" Don't ask him Kristina. You will never get an answer.  
  
  
  
"We're taking a trip to scenic Port Chuckles. I need a lawyer and your mom is it." He called me Counselor. The only lawyer he trusted.  
  
  
  
"Mr. Spencer my mother hasn't practiced law in a long time. It might be better if you find another lawyer." When did Kristina become so mature? She is trying to get him to make sense.  
  
  
  
"Nah, I know who I trust and it's your mother." He was always taking crazy risks. I was the craziest of them all. No one should trust me. If they hadn't trusted me, hadn't loved me, they would be alive.  
  
  
  
"Look Natasha, you have played this wilting damsel-in-distress part long enough. The gypsy princess is tapping her tambourine again."  
  
  
  
WHAT!?  
  
  
  
"My mother isn't playing at anything!" You are right Kristina. I am not playing with your life.  
  
  
  
"Come on Princess, your knight in shinning armor has turned up to take you on a fabulous vacation." What if he is right though?  
  
  
  
"Let's see what we have for you to wear on your lucky date with yours truly."  
  
  
  
Can Helena really be back?  
  
  
  
"The latest in courtroom armor, your sensible shoes, and of course you need to take this lovely evening dress for all our romantic dinners."  
  
  
  
Still, Luke always knows when she is near.  
  
  
  
"I know what you are thinking Counselor. Why not just get the ex-DA shyster to take care of this problem?"  
  
  
  
Why is he here otherwise?  
  
  
  
"Well for one thing I want the best, not the worst. For another, I need a partner who knows how to get the old bat."  
  
  
  
I need to think. I can't let Luke's crazy grudges make my decision. Kristina is too important for that. Why can't he just be quiet and let me think?  
  
  
  
"You know as well as I do that Baldwin just isn't up to the challenge. Beside you know what is at stake here. Are you really going to just sit on the bench Natasha?"  
  
  
  
I should sit on the bench. Scott is the safe choice. "If you would just pay Scott you wouldn't be in this mess."  
  
  
  
"Why should I have to pay him for a case that should never been brought to trial? Especially since Count Vlad was still among the un-dead. And as you know very well Natasha we wouldn't be in this mess if Daddy Popsicle had just bought a back-bone instead of a snow-cone machine."  
  
  
  
Why do I even try? Stephan is gone. Perhaps Luke can protect Kristina. Perhaps he can keep the red away from her. "Don't pack the red one," I warn Luke.  
  
  
  
This is my only choice. Stephan is gone. Kristina still needs protection. I cannot forget the lessons. Luke will protect Kristina until Stephan gets back. I just have to remember what is important. Kristina has to be safe. She has to be safe from Helena. She has to be safe from Sonny. Most importantly she has to be safe from me.  
  
Don't let the red touch Kristina, Luke. 


	3. Reviewing the Situation

All We Need of Hell  
  
Chapter 3: Reviewing the Situation  
  
Disclaimer: General Hospital and all its characters belong to ABC, Disney, etc.  
  
  
  
Author's Notes: Thanks to my faithful beta reader. Please read and review!  
  
  
  
Author's Apology: I deeply apologize speed at which new chapters are being added to this story. If you are still reading this story, THANK YOU! I will try to get more writing time in the future.  
  
  
  
Things have changed again. I am no longer in that apartment with Stephan. Where am I?  
  
  
  
Kristina is right here next to me. Where is Stephan? Why did he leave me alone with her? He knows how dangerous I am. She looks so peaceful. Like nothing can harm her.  
  
  
  
Remember you thought that before. You thought nothing could harm Ned. He looked that way too. Like he was sleeping. I killed him. I can't be trusted with anyone. Stephan knows this. Where is he? Perhaps he is just in the next room.  
  
  
  
No one is out here. It is just an empty front room with a sitting area and a kitchen. There is only a bathroom and the bedroom attached. Should I open the front door? I can't leave Kristina alone, but better alone than only with me. Remember Kristina. Everything you do now has to be to keep her safe. You and Ned promised each other. You need to find her a protector.  
  
  
  
I know this hall. This is Bobbie's brownstone. Why am I here? I haven't been here since I was married to Jax. That was a lifetime ago. When I still thought that I was safe.  
  
  
  
Stop it! You can't think about that right now. You have to remember how you and Kristina got here. What could have possessed Stephan to bring us here? He doesn't like Luke. Actually no one really likes Luke. I knocked him out the first time I met him. So did Kristina.  
  
  
  
Wait a minute. Kristina doesn't know Luke. She hardly knows anyone from Port Charles. Yet she did knock out Luke.  
  
  
  
I remember he wouldn't stop talking. He wants me to help him with some legal trouble he has gotten himself into. He never wants to go to Scott for help. He never realizes the danger he's in. Perhaps he never realizes because he always makes it out alive. That is why I am here. He always survives. He can protect my Kristina until Stephan gets back.  
  
  
  
I need to make sure Luke understands. I need to find him and make sure he understands. He is probably downstairs. Yes, I can hear his voice. I just need to go down the stairs and make sure he knows what he needs to do.  
  
  
  
"Welcome to the party sleepy-head." Does Luke really think that is cute?  
  
  
  
"Good Morning Alexis. I hope you found everything you needed." Bobbie is always gracious, unless you are actively threatening her family.  
  
  
  
"Nice to see you again Alexis." Scott Baldwin.  
  
  
  
"Now that the Councilor has finally decided to join us we can get some work done. We don't have much time before the Queen of Darkness comes a- knocking," Luke rambled.  
  
  
  
What is going on? Helena doesn't come to visit. She comes to teach. Helena always tried to remind me of who I was. Mother and Ned all in red. They were her lessons.  
  
  
  
No Alexis! You can't go back to the red yet. You need to do something. Remember Kristina. Concentrate on what is going on.  
  
  
  
Scott is arguing with Luke. "Get off your high horse Spencer. There is nothing you can do but wait for news from the police just like the rest of us."  
  
  
  
"The PCPD couldn't find anything, even if it was left on their front step. Besides, she won't leave anything for them to find," Luke shot back. "Now Princess, we need you to step in and take over for Nicholas."  
  
  
  
Why would I take over for Nicholas? I shouldn't be allowed to take over anything. I'm dangerous, Luke.  
  
  
  
"Luke," Bobbie warned. See, Bobbie understands how dangerous I am.  
  
  
  
As usual Luke ignores the warning. "Look Natasha, Nicholas and Gia are already gone. Count Lack-a-Lot has already headed for the hills it's you and me baby against Granny Grim."  
  
  
  
"Get real Spencer," Scott said.  
  
  
  
"You wouldn't know reality if it hit you over the head,' Luke shot back.  
  
  
  
"You are the one who is delusional Spencer. Turning a simple storm into a conspiracy theory," Scott dismissed.  
  
  
  
"Hush! We need to be quiet around Aunt Alexis," a small voice ordered.  
  
  
  
"You are right Mark," Bobbie agreed. "Gentlemen, lets take this discussion into the next room."  
  
  
  
I was vaguely aware of Bobbie herding the men out. My attention was centered on the boy standing in front of me. He looked exactly like Nicholas, except Nicholas hadn't been that small in a long time. He smiled at me with Nicholas' smile and eyes that were brighter then Nicholas' had ever been. Then he went over to join a little girl playing on the carpet.  
  
  
  
I sat down on the couch in front of them and tried to figure out what was happening. Nicholas was not a little boy anymore. I remembered attending his wedding. Still there he was sitting in front of me. Who was the little girl? She wasn't Leslie Lu and she wasn't Kristina.  
  
  
  
Kristina came in and said good morning to me and then greeted the children as if this was all normal, as if these children belonged to us. They did belong to us, I just couldn't remember how. I tried hard to grasp onto the bits of conversations that had floated just out of reach in my mind.  
  
  
  
Nicholas' voice saying, "I'm going to be a father, Alexis."  
  
  
  
"Congratulations Nicholas!" Stephan's voice floats from just outside my door.  
  
  
  
"Can I hold one of the babies?" Kristina is so excited.  
  
  
  
I even had a feeling that this scene had happened before. Me sitting and watching these two children play silently at my feet. However, then there had been Nicholas, Gia, and Stephan's voices in the background. This time I could hear Luke, Bobbie, and Scotty talking. I could see Kristina standing just inside the doorway to the family room studying the scene they presented. No doubt trying to figure them out.  
  
  
  
I could have told her not to bother. That it was an impossible task to try to figure out a Spencer.  
  
  
  
NO! I must stay quiet and stay still. Don't go near her. Can't let the red near her. Stay quiet little baby and we will be safe here in the hay. Must protect Kristina. You can't protect her. You can't protect anyone.  
  
  
  
Stop it Counselor! You came here for a reason. Remember what you have to do. You have to make sure Luke understands. You have to make sure Luke protects her. You have to hope Luke can.  
  
  
  
I forced myself to stand up. I concentrated on reaching the voices. I needed to reach those voices. I needed to concentrate on what was going on. I needed to remember that I needed to get Kristina help.  
  
  
  
"I really think you should wait for Marcus," Bobbie was saying as I stepped away from the couch.  
  
  
  
"Look with one notable exception, we are all fine upstanding citizens here. Why don't we just give you the PCPD's phone number and you can ask Captain Taggert what his plans are?" Scotty was dubiously claiming as I passed the children.  
  
  
  
"Hey shyster, I was upstanding enough to be elected mayor," Luke griped. Some things never change.  
  
  
  
"That's ok, I can just go visit Great-Grandfather. I can call Marcus from there," Kristina was speaking. I stopped. Maybe she was right. The Quatermaines were never targets. If Ned had stayed with them he would have been safe.  
  
  
  
Then Luke reminded me why Ned had left the Quartermaines. "Jeez kid. Frying pan? Fire? Why don't you go to Sonny? At least he might offer some protection from the Queen of the Dammed."  
  
  
  
NO! No matter what else happened, Kristina was never going anywhere near Sonny Corinthos. I took the last step forward. I hit someone, but it didn't matter. Only one thing mattered.  
  
  
  
"This is Cassadine business. Sonny comes nowhere near my family EVER again. Do you understand?" I ordered. Never again. 


	4. The More Things Change, The More They St...

Chapter 4: The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same  
  
Disclaimer: General Hospital and all its characters belong to ABC, Disney, etc.  
  
Author's Notes: A HUGE thanks to my faithful beta reader. Actually considering the first draft of this chapter, everyone owes her thank for this one. Please read and review!  
  
I stared them all down. They had to understand this. Ned and Kristina's sacrifice would not be in vain. Bobbie, Scotty, and even Kristina nodded.  
  
However, Luke ignored my concerns like always. "Put your avenging sword away Sweetheart. Just listing her options. Knew your kid would pick the best one," he smirked.  
  
"None of the above?" The words were out of my mouth before I even thought them. Luke could always make me do that.  
  
"Amen to that," Scotty muttered.  
  
"I was just about to start breakfast," Bobbie quickly interrupted. "I was going to make pancakes, is that all right?"  
  
Bobbie making pancakes was fine. I nodded my agreement. If we stayed here and had Bobbie's pancakes we couldn't be going anywhere near Sonny. The Brownstone was safe.  
  
Bobbie headed for the kitchen while ordering Scott to set the table, Luke to put some books on chairs for the children, and Kristina to get the twins. Scott, Luke, and Kristina all went about their assigned tasks.  
  
I stayed were I was watching them all. Making sure they didn't do anything dangerous. Like call Sonny. Like leave me alone with Kristina. I must stay quiet and stay still. Must protect Kristina.  
  
"May I show you to your seat m'lady," Luke said in a gracious drawl as he took my arm.  
  
"Oh, please," Scott muttered.  
  
I let Luke seat me at the table and Bobbie put a plate of pancakes in front of me.  
  
It amazed me that nothing had changed here. It was as if here at least time had stopped out of respect for the dead. Here Bobbie still created a home for everyone she met. Here Luke and Scott still bickered. Nothing ever changes here. Here everyone is safe. Even the red seemed to leave them alone.  
  
That's because you weren't here to curse them.  
  
Shush, just let me pretend for a little bit.  
  
Kristina won't pretend though. "So Nicholas and Gia are missing. Where is Uncle Stephen?" she asks.  
  
Nicholas and Gia are missing? Remember Natasha; you are here to take over for Nicholas.  
  
"Looking for the prince and princess I suppose," Luke dismissed Stephan.  
  
Luke never realized Stephan's importance. How he kept everyone safe. How he kept Kristina safe.  
  
Kristina doesn't understand Luke though, or his place in the Cassidine world. "What does this have to do with you?" She presses.  
  
Luke plays with shadows that will never touch you, Kristina. We promised each other that, Ned and I.  
  
"You haven't heard this bed-time story? I thought it was required reading." Luke always thinks he is the center of the Cassidine universe.  
  
I stupid enough to think the curse was lifted. That Kristina would never be affected by it. That it was new era of the Cassidines.  
  
"Oh well. Once upon a time," Luke begins as if it were some fairy tale, instead of the nightmare it really was.  
  
No! "Luke!" I promised Ned, she would be safe from the nightmares! Redirect Counselor. "What is currently being done?"  
  
"Air control and the coast guard have been notified. The PCPD have ended up as the central point for all the information. Taggert went down to the station this morning for an update and get in touch with some of his personal contacts," Scott informed me.  
  
It seemed like all the logical steps had been taken. Then why was my stomach tied up in knots? Why could I feel the shadow all around me?  
  
Luke was watching me. "They aren't going to find anything and you know it Natasha," he said.  
  
Then the boy with Nicholas' eyes knocked over his glass. It rolled across the table, leaving a trail of red behind to mark its path toward me. Always toward me. 


End file.
